File : SPH1.TXT Author : Bat Bastard BBS : The Banana Republic BBS SPHEROIDS, PART 1 Once upon a time ther were 3 little sisters, called Lacey, Tilly & Benard. One fine day when mummy was hanging out the washing (on the Siegfried line), Lacy said to tilly. "Lets Murder Mummy and Bernard, and have the family fortune all to ourselves!" (there was no Daddy for mummy was a 18 yrold slag-bag on the DPB). "I know, said Tilly, ","since Bernard is a mongoloid with more toes than IQ points, and may be the product of an unnatural coupling between mummy and an obscure breed of dog , we'll kill her first". Lacy agreed, and thereby became guilkty of complacency in a homicide. Tilly waited until mummy was stoned on DB ,in front of "Neighbours", and went to Bernards room. Bernard gurgled in imbicilic recognition. This was Tilly. Tilly was her friend. "hello Bernard" said Tilly. Bernard slobbered. "today we're going to play a new game, called, 'ORIFICE", Bernard. Do you know orifice?" . Moronic incomphrehension. "It's very simple reall, " continued tilly,"I give you this er,...implement", said Tilly searching for the right word, and pulling out mummies vibrator from behind her grimmy hindquaters,"and you stick it up as many of your bodily orifices as you can in a given time, say 30 seconds" said Tilly , glancing at the rolex which dangled penulusly about her young wrist, the rolex she'd been given by that nice man in the park who sometimes gave her sweeties( the man was ,in fact, the head of the child abuse division of soial welfare, a man who believed in having things in common with his clients). Bernard frothed. "here you dumb fuck" cried Tilly, thrusting the vibrator into her sistrs grasping hands. Bernard grabbed the vibrator, sniffed it cautiously. By one of those strange quirks of fate by which history is strung together, Mummy had been indulging in a little S&M , with the man from the social welfare ( who was believed that therapy involved the whole family), and the vibrator was covered in peanut butter! Yum Yum1 bernard liked peant butter! Tilly too saw the peanut butter " this guys spreading himself a bit thin, " she thought, in a flash of byronic humor that laid to rest all frueds theories of social evolution. Bernard sucked the vibrator. Hee Hee, giggled Tilly. Fizzle Pop, countered Bernard, for Tilly had removed the earth wire (you know, the green one) from the vibrator, and replaced it with 3-PHASE 440 V(rms) mains. More than usual, this toy was live........ ...... **** TO BE CONTINUED******** ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- AUTHOR : Bat Bastard ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Brought to the WORLD by The Banana Republic BBS -------------------------------------------------------------------------------