From -- \_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\/ / \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/\ \\ // \\ M // \\ Raising Hell e // \\ t // \\ Volume One a // \\ l // \\ By // \\ C // \\ The Blade o // \\ m // \\ m // \\ -and- u // \\ Neon Knights // \\ i // \\ Satan c // \\ a // \\ t // \\ i // \\ o // \\ n // \_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\s_/\_/\_/\_ \_____________Outdoor Fun____________/ Let us explain one thing, we do not give one flying shit about spellig, nor typographical errors, so don't get upset over something you can't control. Well enough with the bullshit, lets go out the door and destroy the neighborhood! You will need: Your hands A 20 inch lead pipe Mace A source of fire Paint (optional) Eggs (opt) Dogshit (in a bag) A few sheets of paper Ok, now we have all the materials we need, lets walk up to our first target, a nice, metal white mailbox! We can't let this beautify the street can we?, well there are a few ways of getting rid of this ugly sight, for one, if it is mounted on a wooden post, just kick it untill it is compleatly broken off, then throw it into the nearest sewer. If it is mounted on a metal post, just get one person on one side and another on the other side and twist it around untill it breaks off. If it is mounted on a stronger surface that is impossible to break off of, just take your nice lead pipe and beat the living shit out of it untill it looks like it got run over by a 18- wheeler. Or if you are in a more pyromaniac mood, dump a good 1/4 gallon on it, in it, under it, around it, then light it... Volia, a temporary street lamp so the little kids can come out and play street rollerball. Now that there are no mailboxes standing in sight, time to directly bother the shit out of the neighbors. First, lets get the dogshit out of the bag, and place it square on their front steps (as close to the door as possible). Then take the paper and cover the dogshit with it, and make sure that there is enough to burn for about 3 minutes. Then ring the bell, light the paper, then cruise where the people can see you, then they open the door, see the fire, then proceed to stamp it out with their nice tan leather slippers, after the fire is out, they look around outside, not noticing that their tan slippers now has brown spots, go back inside, then hear them swear their ass off. If they see you, and if you are good, they never see you, get out your nice can of mace, and spray it in their face. While they are on the ground, don't forget to check their pockets for some spare money that they owed you. Then get the hell outa there before the fuzz comes and carries the guy back into his nice, warm home, which he can't see because the mace is burning the shit out of his eyes. Ok, now its around 2 a.m., and everyone is warmly tucked into their warm beds, while you are in their backyard ripping down the nice bird feeders hung of the trees. Also volleyball/badmitin nets are real fun to set on fire when you roll them up. Ok, now move over to the 2-tank propane (gas) grill. Rip the tubes out of the normal connection, and just shove them into the ventalation holes, or just let them hang, then turn the gas up as far as it will go, light, and wwoossh! a nice above ground 8 ft. campfire! And if there is a pretty redwood picnic table, throw it on!, as they say, keep the HOME fires burning! If there are any extra horseshoes laying around, go to their garage doors and stand about 15-20 feet away, and see who can be the first one to throw the horseshoe through the garage door! And if there are any windows on the garage door, they are even more chalanging! Well, while you are walking around the house, there is a garden!, well of course now is harvest time!, so see how long it takes to get all the plump, red, tomatoes you can carry!, then proceed to arrange them on various cars that pass by. And if someone does'nt like the creative art for you created on their windows, and are right on your ass, whip out the handy can of mace, and don't forget, to check his pockets for that wallet you have seen in the lost and found ads in the newspaper! Ok, now since the guy is laying on the ground in intense agony, why let that gas go to waste!, jump in the drivers seat, and cruise into your neighbors backyard and do doughnuts, 180's, you can even try to take out their screen porch if you can get enough speed. And when you are done with the car, just go to the nearest straightaway and put it in drive (3 for sticks) and put a brick on the accellarator!, boy is this funny when it runs right into someones living room! Well you are tired, so ya pack it in for the night, break out the good ole' six of Miller, and get trashed. The perfect ending to a perfect evening. \///\///\///\///\///\///\///\///\///\/ Disclaimer: I personally have never done any of the above (uh huh), and I guess its against the law, so do it at your own risk (and have a hell of time) /\//\///\///\///\///\///\///////\///\/ Raising Hell Volume I By The Blade A Neon Knight/Metal Communicatons Presentation Call These Metallic Boards: 201-879-6668-pw-kill-The Metal AE 503-538-0761-Metalland-AE/CATFUR/BBS 818-706-2054-pw-harris-Reality AE 201-528-6467-pw-zandar-mordor AE-10meg 415-697-1320-7 gates of hell BBS-C-FUR <-------------------------------------> Raising Hell (C) 1985 By NK, Inc. Written on June 28-29, 1985 In N.J. Special thanks to: Killer Kurt, Dave, Mike, King Diamond, Satan, Derrik, and everyone who lives to raise hell. <-------------------------------------> L3>