From stein Sat Jan 11 01:33:57 1992 Return-Path: Received: from libra.math.tau.ac.il by math.tau.ac.il (4.1/TAU-4.8) id AA00754; Sat, 11 Jan 92 01:33:56+020 Received: by libra.math.tau.ac.il (4.0/TAUCLNT-2.0) id AA04329; Sat, 11 Jan 92 01:33:55+020 Date: Sat, 11 Jan 92 01:33:55+020 From: stein Message-Id: <9201102333.AA04329@libra.math.tau.ac.il> To: sion Status: R A LISTENER'S AND PLAYER'S GUIDE TO THE HITCHHIKER'S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY ARTHUR DENT Arthur Dent is one of the last two surviving Earthlings. BABEL FISH A mind-bogglingly improbably creative. A babel-fish, when placed in one's ear, allows one to understand any language. EARTH Mostly harmless. FLUFF Fluff is interesting stuff: a deadly poison on Bodega Minor, the diet staple of Frazelon V, the unit of currency on the moons of the Blurfoid system, and the major crop of the laundry supplies planet, Blatus III. FORD PREFECT Ford Prefect is a roving researcher for The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy. GENUINE PEOPLE PERSONALITIES Genuine People Personalities are a misguided attempt by the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation to make their machines behave more like people. Among the more miserable failures: paranoid-depressive robots and over-protective computers. HEART OF GOLD "There is absolutely no such spaceship as the Heart of Gold and anything you've ever read in this spot to the contrary was just a prank." -- Galactic Security Agency HITCHHIKER'S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY The Hitchhiker's Guide is a wholly remarkable product. But then again, you must already know that, since you bought one. MAGRATHEA According to legend, Magrathea was a planet that amassed incredible wealth by manufacturing other planets. MARVIN Marvin is a Sirius Cybernetics Corporation robot with the new Genuine People Personalities feature. MICROSCOPIC SPACE FLEET The editor responsible for entries under this heading has been out to lunch for a couple of years but is expected back soon, at which point there will be rapid updates. Until then, don't panic, unless your situation is really a life or death one, in which case, sure, go ahead, panic. NUTRIMAT A typically unreliable Sirius Cybernetics Corporation product, the Nutrimat analyses the user's neural paths to provide the (supposedly) ideal offering. PERIL-SENSITIVE SUNGLASSES A must for the serious hitchhiker, peril-sensitive sunglasses darken at the first hint of danger, thus shielding the wearer from seeing anything alarming. Recommended brand: Joo Janta. RAVENOUS BUGBLATTER BEAST OF TRAAL The Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal is a mind-bogglingly stupid animal. Here is an example of how stupid it is: it thinks that if you can't see it, it can't see you. Its behavior would be quite endearing if it wasn't spoilt by this one thing: it is the most violently carnivorous creative in the galaxy. SIRIUS CYBERNETICS CORPORATION The Sirius Cybernetics Corporation incompetently produces a wide range of inefficient and unreliable high-tech machinery. However, thanks to the SCC's ruthless marketing division, this junk accounts for over 95% of the high-tech machinery sold in the galaxy. SPACE If you hyperventilate and then empty your lungs, you will last about thirty seconds in the vacuum of space. However, because space is so vastly hugely mind bogglingly big, getting picked up by another ship within those thirty seconds is almost infinitely improbable. THUMB The Electronic Sub-Etha Auto Hitching Thumb is a wonderful thing, but should not be mistreated. If used while a ship is near, you will be transported there. If no ship is in the vicinity, you will place a heavy strain on the Thumb's logic circuits, which could lead to malfunction. The Thumb carries the usual Sirius Cybernbetics Corporation lifetime guarantees. TOWEL A towel is a the most useful thing (besides the Guide) a galactic hitchhiker can have. Its uses include travel, combat, communications, protection from the elements, hand-drying and reassurance. Towels have great symbolic value, with many associated points of honour. Never mock the towel of another, even if it has little pink and blue flowers on it. Never do something to somebody else's towel that you would not want them to do to yours. And, if you borrow the towel of another, you must return it before leaving their world. TRILLIAN Trillian is the other surviving Earthling. VOGONS Vogons, whose specialties are bureaucracy and planet-smashing, are the most unpleasant race in the galaxy. They wouldn't life a finger to save their own grandmother from the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal. ZAPHOD BEEBLEBROX Zaphod Beeblebrox is the current President of the Galaxy.